man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
