is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Randomize
