there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Randomize
