I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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