dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
