He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
