3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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