when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize