CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize
