If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
