girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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