i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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