Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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