How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
