Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
