I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
