I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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