Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
