never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Randomize
