hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
