You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
