"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
