Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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