Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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