on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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