I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Randomize
