Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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