Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
