didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
