His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
He's on the porch naked. Help.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
