She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
