sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
