Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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