is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Randomize
