You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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