i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
