Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
