Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
