had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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