i don't like sucking hair
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
