What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
My penis needs a shock collar
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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