At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
