try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
