drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize