Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
The feeling are messing with the penis
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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