Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize