is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
