I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
