no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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