You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
