Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
