Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
