lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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