We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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