This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Randomize
