hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
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