1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize