i can't believe i had my finger in that
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
