OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
