i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
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