I swear she didn't look like that last week.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Randomize