it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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