I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
