he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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