wakey wakey hands off snakey
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize