She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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