Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
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