I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Randomize
